Avoiding Caitlin Snow
by Foxy the Sly
Summary: Spoilers up to 4x06 - One-shot A short retrospective from Barry's point of view since episode 3x07 Snowbarry/Flashfrost Disclaimer - I do not own the Flash, the arrowverse or even the CW, let alone the characters.


**Disclaimer - I do not own the Flash or its characters  
**

Nobody had noticed. Not Iris, not Joe, not even Cisco. Barry wanted to keep it that way, but he knew deep down that someone would catch on sooner or later.

He had been avoiding Caitlin. Not avoiding her when there were others around, but avoiding her when it was just them - always finding some reason to leave as soon as they were alone - or - if they needed to talk - finding a reason for others to be present.

She probably felt it to some degree, but for now he thought she might be blaming it on her Killer Frost powers, on her telling the truth to Cisco about Flashpoint or on her joining Savitar on his quest to kill Iris.

He just hoped she didn't realise he had been doing it since the kiss.

It was unfair really - he had finally started dating Iris - his long time crush, his destiny if Gideon's newspaper was ever correct - when it had happened, and learned that she was going to die within days of the incident. No time to process, no time to think, just react and concentrate on the next threat, on the next mission, on his next endeavour to save Iris' life, on killing Savitar - or losing himself in the process - even if that meant losing his memories.

And when the threat of Savitar was over, she left. And the speedforce came after him. And time stopped.

Until it started again, and he was out, and he was lost and tormented by SO MANY thoughts and words and symbols. Except in that moment. When he turned. And she smiled. And it lit up the room. And he smiled back.

And the truth was, that had scared him. He had not had such a reaction to seeing Iris again - had barely even noticed her concerned look before going back to his mutterings.

But Iris was the love of his life - he had waited so long for her. She had been his for so long, and they were engaged now. He had to stop this somehow.

And so Barry focused on missions again, and on his wedding, and on Iris, anything to get his mind off of her. And he avoided her. And she let him.

And they spoke when others were present. And nobody noticed the distance between them, not even when they fought over her taking care of Ralph Dibny. The man he had admired. Th man hose life he had apparently ruined. The man whom Caitlin had been taking care of since they had discovered his powers.

On his stag night, he had planned to have a simple night in with Joe and Cisco, reminiscing, and laughing, maybe going to a restaurant and a bar, but Ralph Dibny showed up. And he turned their plans upside down - and next thing he knew, Barry was drunk, and sad, and thinking about how chicken wings had always been his second favourite food but now they were SO GOOD and they were now his favourite food in the whole world and how he just wanted to share them with Caitlin.

No.

He could not go there.

When the night was over, as they go to star labs, he tried to participate in the conversation. Mentioned how horrible his stag night had been. He mentioned that he had cried, and for a few seconds, he thought everything would be OK. Until he saw her, standing in the middle of the room. And he ignored everything Cisco was saying, simply standing there gaping, trying to comprehend the presence of Killer Frost in Star Labs when Caitlin had once told them she now had everything under control.

And she became Caitlin again, and he did his best to ignore Dibny's comments, and he listened as she told them what had happened, who Amunet was, and what she was trying to do.

He wanted to spend time with her, to be her confidant again like he had been once upon a time, before Ronnie died and everything became complicated, but he couldn't. Not when his destiny was by his side and back on track.

He decided then and there on his new mission - he was going to train Ralph Dibny to become a superhero - to become "the elongated man" - and in that way, he could go on avoiding her just a little bit longer.


End file.
